imabitch

There's so many things happening, I just dont know where to start.

It just hit me, how I've been taking
so many things around me for granted.
My family especially.

The twins I haven't been showing much care/concern for.
And, the parents I haven't been showing much respect for lately.

Mom called earlier to ask how I was, and at the same time,
tell me that one of my sister was so sick til
the inside of her eyes started bleeding.

For that point in time, I was worried sick.
I was home with that sister of mine before I left the house.
I knew she wasn't feeling well, but I gave no shit.
Instead, I was disturbing her while she was sleeping.
I didnt even know her eye was bleeding.

And I am her oldest sister.
OLDEST, and I'm ashamed to be one.


I realised, I've always treated my friends as top priority.
When my friends are down, I'm always there for them.
When my friends are in need, I'm always there for them.
When I have arguements or fights with my friends, I get upset.
Friends birthdays - I go shop for presents.
Christmas - Shop for presents for them.

Its always FRIENDS, FRIENDS, FRIENDS!


I don't know anything bout my sisters.
I don't know when they're down,
I don't know when they need someone badly,
I don't know what they like,
I don't buy them gifts for them,
be it, for christmas or birthday.


I'm sorry I haven't been a perfect sister.
As much as I'd like to be,
I hope you'll give me the chance to.

Cos from the bottom of my heart,
you'll do know - I LOVE YOU'LL
And nothings ever gonna change that.
I apologise for the times I've hurt you'll,
be it through words or actions.


And sometimes I wish,
my parents could just respect my decisions.
I know they care for me, they love me,
but all I ask is for them to respect
the decisions I make in my life.
Yes, it may not be appealing to them.
But once again, its my life.

I love all of them - Mommy, Daddy, Felicia and Gillian.
I really do, I wish 2006 would be a better year for us.


-




2005 is coming to an end.
So much has changed over the year,
The new friends I've made,
some friends I'd lost,
how I dreaded sec3 life all over again,
how I couldnt accept the fact - sec3 again,
how I missed my old class,
how they all graduated,
and now I'm finally getting to sec4

I made many mistakes that have left an imprint in my life,
some of which can never be erased.


I've been so used to the usual faces in school
- Bea, Nora, Donn, Ally, Shayna, Evan, Jasper,
Belle, Nat, Gayle, Sheryl, Lizzy etc.

I have no idea how I'm going to get used to the drastic change.
It'll be different! I wont be seeing those familiar faces in
school no more.

No more recesses spent with them,
no more time spent with them.
Everyone will be heading off to different directions,
leading their own lives.

I'll be busy preparing for O's,
I wont have time to meet up?


I highly doubt we'll meet up,
who knows by then they might have long forgotten bout me.



Argh FUCK.

posted by stacey @ Saturday, December 31, 2005